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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The funniest people are the saddest once
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- "Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes
- I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes
- I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive
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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes
- A joke is a very serious thing.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.
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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes
- Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes