Oscar Wilde Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes