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Funny Quotes 957
- The lack of money is the root of all evil.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Bible Quotes
- All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes
- To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Be excellent and party on dudes.
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive
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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- ... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes
- The funniest people are the saddest once
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes
- I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes
- This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.
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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cities Quotes