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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.
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Tags : Adam Savage Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- "Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A joke is a very serious thing.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes