Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

5 years ago

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Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

6 years ago

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The covers of this book are too far apart.

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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

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I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

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There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.

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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

6 years ago

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Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

6 years ago

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