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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes
- They misunderestimated me.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.
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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- God created sex. Priests created marriage.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes
- New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes