Oscar Wilde Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Crush Quotes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

"Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I buy expensive suits - they just look cheap on me.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Use It Or Lose It Quotes

NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Failure Quotes

Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes