Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes