Honore De Balzac Quotes, Funny Quotes, Money Quotes

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

4 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

4 years ago

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

4 years ago

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pimples Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

4 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes