Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cities Quotes

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

6 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes