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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes