Francis Bacon Quotes, Funny Quotes, People Quotes

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

5 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

It's a funny old world.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , World Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uplifting Quotes

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nba Quotes

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes