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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.
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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.
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Tags : Adam Clayton Powell , Jr. Quotes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.
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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cities Quotes
- But the peasants - how do the peasants die?
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- He would make a lovely corpse.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- 'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes