Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Vision Quotes, Cynicism Quotes

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Vision Quotes , Cynicism Quotes

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Night Quotes , Doe Quotes

Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.

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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

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An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Lying Quotes

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

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ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

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We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

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HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eye Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

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An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Self Quotes

DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.

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Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Philosopher Quotes

PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil's objections. A needless precaution - they knew no more of the matter than he.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Order Quotes