Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Learning Quotes, Ignorance Quotes

Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

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REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

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Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

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GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.

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According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

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PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.

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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command

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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

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RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.

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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.

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AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

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A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

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ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.

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Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.

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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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