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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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- HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
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- A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
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- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
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- KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
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- When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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- Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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- Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
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- Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.
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- RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
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- When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
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- TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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- Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.
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- ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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- Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.
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- ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
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- Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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- HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
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