Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Father Quotes, Taken Quotes

PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

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PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

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PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

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SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.

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Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.

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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting

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Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

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A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Kings Quotes

Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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The bold and discerning writer who, recognizing the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new words and uses the old in an unfamiliar sense has no following and is tartly reminded that 'it isn't in the dictionary' - although down to the time of the first lexicographer no author ever had used a word that was in the dictionary.

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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

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