Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Men Quotes, Voting Quotes

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

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What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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Past, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line called the Present parts it from an imaginary period known as the Future. These two grand divisions of Eternity, of which the one is continually effacing the other, are entirely unlike. The one is dark with sorrow and disappointment, the other bright with prosperity and joy.... Yet the Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one-the knowledge and the dream.

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

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The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

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DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.

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me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.

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DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

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RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

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