Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Law Quotes, Criminals Quotes

MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

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A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

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Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.

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Least said is soon disavowed.

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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.

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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Science Quotes

YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Animal Quotes

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

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