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Adam Carolla Quotes 142

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

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6 years ago

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I get depressed at airports.

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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

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6 years ago

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I'm a comedian, not a politician.

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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

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My first car was a motorcycle.

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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

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6 years ago

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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

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Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

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6 years ago

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