Adam Carolla Quotes, Army Quotes, Government Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Air Quotes , Stories Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dream Quotes , People Quotes

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Realist Quotes

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Guy Quotes , Needs Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Podcasting Quotes , Form Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Art Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes

My first car was a motorcycle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes

Welfare is monetary methadone.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Welfare Quotes , Methadone Quotes