Adam Carolla Quotes, Running Quotes, Car Quotes

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Strong Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Air Quotes , Stories Quotes

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Emotional Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Lazy Quotes

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes , Feel Good Quotes

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes

As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bridges Quotes , Done Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes