Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

"Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It's a legal fiction, my dear sir, nothing more."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes