George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes, Men Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Unser Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes