Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Religious Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Leadership Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I can resist everything except temptation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alanis Morissette Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes