Muhammad Ali Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sports Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

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Tags : Jack London Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes