Horace Quotes, Funny Quotes, Advice Quotes

A good scare is worth more than good advice.

5 years ago

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence and vagabondism; for in ancient days those two amusements, combining a wholesome excitement with a promising means of repairing shattered fortunes, were at once the ennobling pursuit and the healthful recreation of the Quality of this land.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes