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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jealousy Quotes
- Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
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Tags : Abbie Hoffman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dope Quotes
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When one has not had a good father, one must create one.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes