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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes
- Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Never confuse movement with action.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes
- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.
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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes
- Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.
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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes
- Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mean Quotes
- If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes
- Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes