Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Math Quotes

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sexy Quotes

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Unser Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols or bombs without incurring any penalties.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes