Al Capone Quotes, Funny Quotes, Running Quotes

My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes