George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Senior Quotes

The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

There comes a moment in the day when you have written your pages in the morning, attended to your correspondence in the afternoon, and have nothing further to do. Then comes that hour when you are bored; that's the time for sex.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , College Quotes

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes