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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Genius is born-not paid
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes
- The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.
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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes