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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- My toughest fight was with my first wife.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes
- Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive
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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Absence - that common cure of love.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes