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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- "Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It's a legal fiction, my dear sir, nothing more."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.
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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- Genius is born-not paid
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- It's your money. You paid for it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Sunshine is my quest.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes
- At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes