Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Motivational Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

6 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes