T. S. Eliot Quotes, Funny Quotes, Mom Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

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Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

No man knows he is young while he is young.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes