Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mother Quotes

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

Only the shallow know themselves.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes