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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.
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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes
- Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes
- Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- On summer evenings, when every flower, and tree, and bird, might have better addressed my soft young heart, I have in my day been caught in the palm of a female hand by the crown, have been violently scrubbed from the neck to the roots of the hair as a purification for the Temple, and have then been carried off highly charged with saponaceous electricity, to be steamed like a potato in the unventilated breath of the powerful Boanerges Boiler and his congregation, until what small mind I had, was quite steamed out of me
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Summer Quotes
- I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes
- whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes