George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Change Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes