A. J. Liebling Quotes, Funny Quotes, Media Control Quotes

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

5 years ago

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

5 years ago

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Blake Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes