Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

What is a husband? He is the one who, with a touch, can bring back the starlight and glow of years long ago. At least he hopes he can - don't disappoint him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Beck Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You can't imagine what a pleasure this complete laziness is to me: not a thought in my brain- you might send a ball rolling through it!

5 years ago

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

5 years ago

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Tags : Bob Marley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes