Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adelle Davis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Party Quotes

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.

5 years ago

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive

6 years ago

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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

6 years ago

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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Basketball Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes