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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The movement of life has its rest in its own music.
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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes
- It comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.
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Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes
- The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes
- Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.
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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes