Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Fall Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

5 years ago

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

5 years ago

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

5 years ago

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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes