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Funny Quotes 957
- It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes
- I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes
- They misunderestimated me.
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- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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- My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.
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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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- If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- God created sex. Priests created marriage.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes