Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes