Oprah Winfrey Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abbie Hoffman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dope Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

The movement of life has its rest in its own music.

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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes