Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Mistake Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes