Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes