George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

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Tags : A. A. Milne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

No sane man will dance.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes