Adelle Davis Quotes, Funny Quotes, Party Quotes

To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party.

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Tags : Adelle Davis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Party Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.

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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Never confuse movement with action.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes