H. G. Wells Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Bible Quotes

It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jail Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It's a funny old world.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , World Quotes

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes