Abraham Lincoln Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I can resist everything except temptation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes