Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes