Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Business Quotes

Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Clayton Powell , Jr. Quotes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jail Quotes

A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes