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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.
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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Be excellent and party on dudes.
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religion Quotes
- "Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes
- Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes
- Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes
- The funniest people are the saddest once
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.
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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes