Muhammad Ali Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uplifting Quotes

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes