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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Absence - that common cure of love.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
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Tags : William Blake Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes
- Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kissing Quotes
- What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes