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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes
- On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes
- My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes
- NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes
- The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes