Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Regret Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Golf Quotes

I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adele Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hater Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes