Catullus Quotes, Funny Quotes

But you shall not escape my iambics.

5 years ago

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Tags : Catullus Quotes , Funny Quotes

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes