Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Minter Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Bible Quotes

Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes