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Funny Quotes 957
- I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes
- Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes
- Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes
- PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The funniest people are the saddest once
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes