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Funny Quotes 957
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Everything in moderation, including moderation.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.
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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
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Tags : Abba Eban Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes