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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes
- The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- He would make a lovely corpse.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.
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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes