Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Christmas Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Army Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kissing Quotes

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes