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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Basketball Quotes
- Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- I buy expensive suits - they just look cheap on me.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes
- If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.
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Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes