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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes
- Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes
- My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes
- I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.
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Tags : A. A. Gill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beach Quotes
- I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes
- A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes
- Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes