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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Appreciation Quotes
- Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Never confuse movement with action.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.
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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes
- It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes