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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes
- A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- All generalizations are false, including this one.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes