Voltaire Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes