Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Writing Quotes

Biography lends to death a new terror.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The French complain of everything, and always.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes

Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

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Tags : Bob Marley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

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Tags : Franz Kafka Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fighting Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave the name of Sloppy. The footman who communicated this intelligence made a decent pause before uttering the name, to express that it was forced on his reluctance by the youth in question, and that if the youth had had the good sense and good taste to inherit some other name it would have spared the feelings of him the bearer.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes