Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sports Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Jack London Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Crush Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes