Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Time Quotes

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uplifting Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

4 years ago

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but will all my heart. To me an opera is the very climax & cap-stone of the absurd, the fantastic the unjustifiable. I hate the very name of opera - partly because of the nights of suffering I have endured in its presence, & partly because I want to love it and can't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hate Quotes

There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

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Tags : Bob Marley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes