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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.
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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes
- Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes
- I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes