Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Lonely Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes