Lord Byron Quotes, Funny Quotes, Stupidity Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Basketball Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Never confuse movement with action.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Blake Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes