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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes
- I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes
- As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.
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Tags : Alan Minter Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes