Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, God Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.

5 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes

There comes a moment in the day when you have written your pages in the morning, attended to your correspondence in the afternoon, and have nothing further to do. Then comes that hour when you are bored; that's the time for sex.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.

5 years ago

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Tags : A. A. Gill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beach Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baseball Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes