Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. R. Gurney Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

5 years ago

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes

You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. A. Milne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

5 years ago

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes