Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mother Quotes

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.

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Tags : Aimee Mullins Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Leadership Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Math Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes