Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.

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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes