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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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- A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
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- Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.
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Tags : Aimee Mullins Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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- Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes