Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

5 years ago

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes