Warren Buffett Quotes, Funny Quotes, Motivation Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

We have the best government that money can buy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

No sane man will dance.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes