John Donne Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

The movement of life has its rest in its own music.

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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes

A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes