Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes, Funny Quotes, Dog Quotes

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

4 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes

We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Riches are for spending.

4 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

4 years ago

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes