Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baseball Quotes

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes