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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes
- Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- What is a husband? He is the one who, with a touch, can bring back the starlight and glow of years long ago. At least he hopes he can - don't disappoint him.
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Tags : Alan Beck Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- ... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes
- Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nature Quotes
- You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
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Tags : Jack London Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes