Voltaire Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adelle Davis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Party Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes