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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes
- Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- ... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes
- A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes