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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.
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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes
- It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.
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Tags : Adam Savage Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We have the best government that money can buy.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes