Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes, Funny Quotes, Book Quotes

We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

God gives us our relatives – thank God we can choose our friends.

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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes