Albert Einstein Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Franz Kafka Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fighting Quotes

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes