Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A good scare is worth more than good advice.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.

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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.

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Tags : Alan Minter Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes