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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , College Quotes
- Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.
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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes
- Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes