Oscar Wilde Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Golf Quotes

On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.

5 years ago

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Tags : A. A. Gill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beach Quotes

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes