George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

A good scare is worth more than good advice.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes

But you shall not escape my iambics.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Catullus Quotes , Funny Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It's your money. You paid for it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. A. Gill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beach Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes