Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sister Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Biography lends to death a new terror.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

On summer evenings, when every flower, and tree, and bird, might have better addressed my soft young heart, I have in my day been caught in the palm of a female hand by the crown, have been violently scrubbed from the neck to the roots of the hair as a purification for the Temple, and have then been carried off highly charged with saponaceous electricity, to be steamed like a potato in the unventilated breath of the powerful Boanerges Boiler and his congregation, until what small mind I had, was quite steamed out of me

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Summer Quotes

It's your money. You paid for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes