Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

6 years ago

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I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

6 years ago

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Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

6 years ago

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Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.

5 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pimples Quotes