Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Fine Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Gay Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes