Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.

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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes