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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- I buy expensive suits - they just look cheap on me.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- " ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes
- Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes