Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Music Quotes

All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes