Oscar Wilde Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

His wardrobe was extensive-very extensive-not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fashion Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

5 years ago

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes

I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adele Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hater Quotes

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Savage Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes