Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

5 years ago

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Never confuse movement with action.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Only the shallow know themselves.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

5 years ago

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes