Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Friendship Quotes

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes