Leo Tolstoy Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nba Quotes

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes