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  • Funny Quotes   957
  • As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
  • Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
  • The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
  • ... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes