Adam Sandler Quotes, Funny Quotes, Years Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

His wardrobe was extensive-very extensive-not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fashion Quotes

You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.

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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes